Years ago, I have felt myself being disembodied.
It was not painful; the only thing I felt was me being
separated from my body. I got up from my sleep, sat on my bed, then stood and
pushed myself up slowly; I turned back and looked at my bed, saw myself still
laying down there. I was so light, and able to move slowly and steadily. I wasn’t
able to move too fast if I wanted to, but could accelerate slowly if I tried.
It felt like playing with a balloon at a birthday party. I liked it. I simply
thought, “I am having such a nice dream in which I can travel.”
With the freedom provided by my lightweight I decided to
take a walk. Stepping outside, I realized I felt out of the place.
“Oh no, that’s not where I was sleeping!”
I was supposed to be in the Beach City. That’s where I was
working for the summer. But, all of a sudden I was in my hometown.
“Something is not right! Who cares, I am at home. I can go
ahead and visit my parents.”
I had not been home for a long time. After starting college,
I had a continuous work program year long. I was working as an interpreter and
program coordinator when in school, and in summer break I was coming to Beach
City to make some extra money and stand on my own feet. I never liked asking
for help from my parents. Because of this tight schedule I was not able to go
home for most of my holidays, while most of my friends were being excited to
get a break and go home. So, that was a great time for a surprise visit to parents
and brothers.
It was an early morning in Rise City. I was walking down the
main street, and I completely forgot that I was walking in my dream. It looked
weird to me, city was pretty awkward. All pavements were modernized, people
looked more like European.
“Has it been so long that I haven’t been here? Why everything
looks so different?”
When I arrived in the city center, I realized the bank where
my dad used to send me for paying his small bills. This corner reminds me a lot
of memories. My childhood has been around here.
“Oh, wait! Dad has a small store here, why not stop by?” “I
have the keys; I can simply unlock and get the store ready for opening. It will
be a nice surprise for daddy.”
That street felt like it would go forever. Somehow, I missed
dad’s store. I couldn't find it. It feels so weird not to be able to find a
place that you have almost grown up in. I should be able to find dad’s store if
they left me in the middle of the city my eyes blinded. Somehow, it had turned
into the hardest thing ever to do to find it.
“Hi Fernat!”
He did not reply. Actually, he acted as if he did not see
me. I felt so ignored. Why would someone I knew before just ignore me? Has it
been so long that I people cannot recognize me? I kept walking confused hoping to come across a close
friend. Shortly after, I saw dad walking towards me. It must be my lucky day! He
will be so surprised to see me. I simply stood on his way.
“Dad!”
He walked past me. He looked so sad; did not even recognize
me.
“Perhaps, he has a big bill to pay today. He looked worried.”
It wasn’t hard to catch another friend. I saw my best friend
from high school walking in front of me. Yay! I could go for a drink now!
“Hey Harry! Harry!”
Street was crowded. He was a bit far. I should have run a bit to
catch him.
“Harry, wait!” “It’s Eugene!” “Harry?”
I ran a bit more, and tapped him on his shoulder.
“Harry!”
He did not turn back, neither gave a reaction. Something was
absolutely wrong. People looked like they didn’t hear me. So I decided to face
him, so he could see me. There was no way he would not remember me. Harry has
been my all times best friend. I ran a bit and stood in front of his way. I was
yelling:
“Harry! What’s up buddy?”
He seemed like he did not hear me. Also, he didn't seem to
be seeing me either. He had the same sad impression on his face, like my dad
had. HE WALKED THROUGH ME!
I got so worried and annoyed. People were going overall same
direction. I decided to follow them. They were going towards the city hall
where most ceremonies, celebrations, or big events were held. I kept walking
with them. People were generally sad, and they were talking about some
important man’s death at a young age. Obviously, city hall was hosting a
funeral this time. I couldn't figure out how he died, but it was obvious he was
an important man, and many people sincerely loved him. The crowd told me
enough. I learned he was in his thirties from the conversations around. About
ten years older than me.
After I got in the hall, I climbed up the third floor. I could
have a better scene from there and see who the close people are. Once I saw the
coffin and people around it, they looked familiar to me. Oh, one of them was
dad’s cousin. He lived where I studied the college. If he is here, the decedent
must be someone important. Dad’s cousin (I called him uncle) was a retired high
rank soldier, and he had become the general manager of a security training
company after his retirement. He was
accepting condolences. I saw dad and mom right next to him. They looked
catastrophic. They were accepting
condolences too.
I was curious who was dead. Why dad and mom are there too?
So, I decided to walk down and talk to my parents. As I walked closer, I realized
the decedent’s face was open for visitors. I decided to look at him to see who
it was before I go to talk to my parents. As I walked closer the face looked
familiar, but I was not able to figure out who he was. I heard my name being
mentioned in the crowd a couple of times. I thought, maybe some people finally
recognized me and talked about me. I kept walking towards the coffin. Once I
reached there, I stood in front of the coffin and looked at the decedent.
“I think I know this guy. He looks so much like me!” “Hey,
wait a minute! He cannot be me as I am here.”
Mom walked towards me. She looked like had had been crying for
days. Just as she was hugging the coffin; I yelled:
“Mom!”
No response. I could not hear anything from anyone. I simply
heard my mom crying my name and hugging the coffin.
“Hey mom! Stop crying! I am here; no worries it is not me. I
am here!”
She did not hear me. I screamed at her, to make her hear me.
She did not react. I climbed onto the coffin, and screamed against the crowd.
“I am here! I am alive! I am not dead! People I am here!
Stop this comedy!”
No one seemed hear me. No one even attempt to stop me
climbing onto the coffin. They did not hear me. That was the creepiest thing
happening to me.
“Am I really dead?” “No, no, no! I cannot be. How would I be
walking around like this? I need to get out of here. This cannot be real!”
I ran out of the hall. I started running down the street hysterically.
Anyone I saw, I tried to slap on face. My hand was simply going through them. They
were not even seeing me. I got so tired of running, I was out of breath. So I
sat down on the pavement.
“I am dead.” “I don’t remember when and how; but I obviously
I died.” “And now, I am walking down the street like a ghost; once they bury me
I will be locked up.”
All of a sudden, I thought of going back to my bed. Maybe
that could save me from death. I started running back. Beach City was too far. Yet,
I simply had stepped into here. If I can find the house I was in here I could
get there fast. Where was it? I started running back to the house. Every second
felt like a year. I was not able to find the place. When I finally found the
place I felt like it has been years since I stepped out. I rushed towards my
room. I saw myself in my bed sleeping I lay down onto me and got into my body
slowly. I let my eyes close slowly. Soon after, I was asleep. My mom walked
towards me, I saw her giving me hug. She was smiling. She had a green blouse. I
hugged her tightly; I did not let her move away. She said "I need to go." I felt tears
rolling down my eyes.
The tears got so annoying, that I opened my eyes. I was in
my bed. My eyes were wet. My arms were crossed on my chest so tight. My mom was
not there. I was in Beach City in Uncle Sam’s house. I pinched myself. It hurt,
I smiled. I got up and walked to kitchen to see if water would spill on floor
when I drink it. I poured a glass of water and drank it. No water spilled.
I looked at the clock on the wall: 2.14am
I looked at the calendar next to my bed: August 8, 2008
I walked to Uncle Sam’s daughters’ room and knocked on door.
“Mary! Mary! Kelly! Fran!”
“Eugene, what’s the problem? Why are you yelling in the
middle of the night?”
“Mary, do you see me?”
“Of course I do, Euge, are you okay?”
“Yes, sister. I am fine. Sorry for bothering you in the
middle of the night.” “Have a good night! We will talk tomorrow”
Elvan Katmer
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