I Saw You

Someone told me that she caught me talking to air as if there was someone in front of me. I don’t believe this is true. It is true that I do not have many friends. It is true that I even named the sofa, table, fridge, pillow in the bed; but that does not necessarily mean I am talking to air. Every day, when I step in the house I say hi to Gokhan; any time I sit on the sofa I talk to my friend Reilly. Every night before I go to bed, I say good night to Rivka. I see them, I talk to them, and they talk to me. Sometimes I see them talking to other people speaking in a different language; I don’t understand what they say, but when I ask them they translate for me. I am glad I have all these friends around me. The only thing I don’t like is when I cook for them, or make a drink for them, they eat or drink with me; but in the mornings I see their plates and glasses full. It makes me sad. And I don’t know how come they go to their work before me. I am such and early bird, but I never see them in the mornings.

I don’t believe in ghost stories. I believe that people who dies still walks around us, but we don’t recognize them. They don’t attempt to bother us. They live in their world with us. When we die we can also see them; how I know, at some point I got close to dying too. At the point I saw them, and they talked to me. It was so crowded that I could hardly walk around them. A lot many more than our world. Somehow, no one is bothering each other there. They never fight; it looks like they do not have feelings. But it is cute, I met so many people there, whom I never saw in my life where we cannot see them. It is also so funny that you can make fun of this world’s people while they cannot see you. I hear this world's people talking about some metaphysical world. Maybe that is where I was at, at that point.

I saw Rivka yesterday in a in my work place, there was some party. She did not want to talk to me. She told the crowd “Hi guys, I love you all.” I ignored because she did not want to talk to me at first. Why would she not? We always had talked at home. Felt weird. Later she said, “I love him too.” pointing at me. “But he doesn’t like me anymore.” I don’t know how she ended up thinking this way; I don’t understand why she thought so. Weird. I turned my face to her, she smiled then. But then she called me with my brother’s name. C’mon now, you know me for a long time! You cannot be confused about my name, you don’t even know my brother in person.

Anyways, I left the party early; went home. None had arrived yet, I fell asleep. Then I am at work again, after waking up. Well, at least Reilly is swimming laps here at work. I can talk to her after. Maybe we go to movies after work.